Published Essays, Published Stories


A question was posted to me on another site on the strangest strategy I’ve seen a friend do to score girls.

Guys ought to learn a thing or two from Jerry.

My friend Jerry, is a ladies man.

He got dates all the friggin’ time.

Interestingly, he wasn’t ‘classically’ good-looking. Jerry was only 5′7, regular looking, no high baller, nothing different or impressive. Just a regular Joe with a friendly smile and a great sense of humor.

But compared to our other single guy friends, he is always seen with some cute girl wrapped around his arm.

So the guys are curious why he gets dates all the time. I’m not even sure if he’s on any of the dating apps. Seems unlikely.

Jerry doesn’t even like to go out to bars and drinking. He was more like a mall-and-coffee, basketball and chill kinda guy.

One day, Jerry and another friend of ours were in a coffee shop chilling, and a cute girl comes in and sits on the table beside theirs.

Our other friend elbowed Jerry, nodding towards the direction of the cute girl. Before even realizing it, our friend saw Jerry whip out his laptop, search a website and tap the girl on the shoulder.

“Hey, can I get some recommendation from you? I’m trying to buy a present for my mom’s birthday, and I need some female advice.”

“Oh, sure!” she chirped, and for the next 30 minutes they chatted about what Jerry’s mom likes and dislikes, and together they went through the e-commerce site, before finally choosing a present, carted it, purchased it, and then they started talking about her and throughout the end of the conversation Jerry was able to get the girl’s number and a date before bidding adieu.

Our friend was flabbergasted. “How did you—?”

He was so impressed at our Jerry’s skills that he shared it to me and to the rest of our friends later on.

To the guys, it made completely no sense. Strange.

For a girl like me (and one who knows Jerry quite well), it wasn’t so strange at all.

You see, Jerry at face value is very approachable. Nice. Like he would never hurt a fly. His look and demeanor made every girl feel safe (friend or romantic interest). He had a very light energy about him. That feeling of being safe is extremely important for every girl before they consider dating or even being friends with you.

If he approached women in bars it would’ve been a different story maybe—as women are used to being approached all the time in bars that we naturally have our guards up. But when we are in a place where we don’t normally get ‘hit on’, say a coffee shop, women’s guards are often down.

Another characteristic is his spontaneity. There is something so charming about him being so flippant about approaching people (both men and women) like it is the most natural thing in the world. Some people would hesitate and gather their nerves to approach someone, but he seems to rarely think about it.

Safety and spontaneity—just some keys to sparking a woman’s interest.

Whether or not he left a trail of broken hearts was another story.

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