I’m not friends with most exes, but proud to say that I formed strong friendships with a few, posthumous. A few months later and 10,000 km apart, I’m now giving an ex dating and relationship advice.
Sure, he would start with his usual spiel that I should come live in Paris instead. Then he would confide how difficult finding a real relationship is nowadays; despite the seemingly endless options and numerous matches on his smartphone.
This is coming from a 6-ft. doctor with washboard abs and a jawline that can cut things. and French.
I’m not exactly the best person to ask for dating advice. After coming from two half-decade relationships with no breathing space in between–and then single all of a sudden; I don’t know how to navigate the ‘modern dating scene’ anymore.
I am suddenly oriented on a spectrum of grays that were once just black-and-white: casual dating, ‘just hanging out’, laissez-faire, FWBs, Cuddle Buddies, hotline blings, one-sided relationships, on-again, off-again couples… definitely non-existent in my previous single lifetime.
Now that I’m back in the ocean, the waters we navigate now seem trickier, muddier, murkier. Suddenly it’s a numbers game, everyone is suddenly dispensable. Dating apps have made meeting others easier. It has made social networks wide and rich; but on superficial connections.
We all want the same, real thing. Everyone just pretends to not give a damn.
Modern dating is just like Game of Thrones. There’s just too many characters to keep track of, and you seriously can’t get attached to any of them, because you know nothing good would last long–fate or circumstance is bound to kill them before it even started.
I’m not saying finding love online or on apps is not possible; some people swear by it. Personally, it was an easy choice to disconnect. I needed that unpremeditated element. That real and rare connection. I need to see the madness in your eyes; to know if we’re the same brand of crazy.